A mother's open letter to her living children about the bittersweet nature of Mother's Day after the death of their sister...
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A Letter to My Living Children for Mother’s Day
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Where’s the Manual for Healing from Grief?
What exactly is it to “be healed” from grief? Is it the absence of pain? Maybe it’s the ability to find happiness and joy once again. Perhaps it is to find meaning and purpose after the devastation of grief? It could be all of the above…or it could be none of the above...
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Why We Can’t Just “Move On”
I and many people I know are suffering from a broken heart. Some people wonder why can’t we just get over it and move on with our lives as if everything was back to normal? Unfortunately, there isn’t an answer I could put into words that would ever satisfy them. Maybe the problem lies in the terminology being used...
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Compassionate Friends Conference Workshop
Next week I'll be flying to Dallas, TX to present a workshop at the 38th annual Compassionate Friends National Conference for bereaved families. I'm excited and nervous and a little bit scared all at the same time, but I'm looking forward to the opportunity to lead and facilitate some meaningful - and hopefully healing - conversation with others who find themselves in the horrible situation of losing a child...
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A “Grand Plan” Doesn’t Comfort Me
I don’t know how I learned it, but at a young age, I was introduced to the concept of death that was nice, neat, and acceptable. The problem was that my ongoing experience with death over the course of my life didn’t seem to ever fit that mold...
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Do They Even Remember Your Name?
While you were alive, your name was spoken more times than I could ever possibly count. These days, It seems the only way I can still hear your beautiful name is if I say it. It makes me wonder whether people still think of you. It makes me fear that you are already forgotten...
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Lost in the Forest of Grief
It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture of our lives, seeing only the “trees” that represent everyday activities and emotions of life that surround us. After the sudden death of my daughter, I found myself transplanted into a thick grove of new, unfamiliar “trees” that I didn't know how to escape from...
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The Big Lie
We first hear it as little kids in our bedtime stories. When we’re older, we see it repeated again and again in countless movies. We’re even told we can buy it in endless advertisements. But it isn’t real. It’s all a big, perverse lie that can do real damage in real lives...
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Anticipation of a Difficult Day is Always Worse than the Day Itself
Starting this week, there is a rapid succession of difficult days ahead. That is…I anticipate they’ll be difficult. Anticipation can work one of two ways: it can imagine the best-case scenario…or it can imagine the worst. So when we anticipate a difficult grief trigger, it tends to bring up all the worst-case scenarios our imaginative minds can conjure up...
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Gifts from My Daughter on Her Birthday
Today is my daughter’s birthday. If she were still alive, Margareta would have been 10-years-old. Since I can no longer buy presents for my daughter on her birthday, I’d like to share with you a few of the gifts she has given me...
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To the Boy Who Has My Daughter’s Heart
A piece of my daughter's heart was transplanted into a baby boy. While I’m certain that this boy and his family are thankful every day for this gift of a second chance at life, on this Thanksgiving day I want to tell him a little bit about the girl who literally gave a piece of her heart to him...
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ONE Word that Has the Power to Change Everything
A few day's after this recent New Year's celebration, I realized I was in a deep wave of grief. I was convinced that fully immersing myself in this anger and despair for the next few hours would do me good. It would be a release. And then something changed it all. In an instant, I shed the weight of anger and despair. I happily released it into the atmosphere to float away. I felt lighter. I felt calm. I felt like everything was okay once again. Why?...
The post ONE Word that Has the Power to Change Everything appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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Grief 2.0
As I write this, I’m laying in a field of grass at a park near my house. My son is happily playing with some newly made friends a few feet away. A cool breeze dances through the leaves of the trees overhead, creating a beautiful symphony of whispers. I listen to bursts of laughter peppered in the conversations of the kids who have joined together to make the most of their short time at the park before the sun sets and they have to head home.
All of this makes me want to pause and savor this moment.
The post Grief 2.0 appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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5 Basic Truths That Can Help You Through Grief
Grief is universal. Just as you cannot avoid death, you also cannot avoid grief.
While there is no universal timetable or sequence of how we deal with grief as individuals, there are plenty of common themes and reactions to grief. There are also some universal truths about grief — and life itself — that have the ability to help anyone work through the pain of grief.
The post 5 Basic Truths That Can Help You Through Grief appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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The Ache of Losing a Child
We have a bond with our children that can never be broken. Not even by death. But for those of us whose children died, they took a part of us we can never get back. And it hurts like hell. We are all left with the same deep ache that will never go away.
The post The Ache of Losing a Child appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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The Wound Time Won’t Heal
We’ve all heard it. “Time heals all wounds.” Sounds incredibly hopeful for someone who’s drowning in grief. Except when time doesn’t heal your wound. What then?
The post The Wound Time Won’t Heal appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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Living in the Shadow of a Child’s Death
For bereaved parents, that belief that we could ever deserve a life with happiness, joy, meaning, and purpose once more is one of the hardest to come by in the shadow of our child’s death.
The post Living in the Shadow of a Child’s Death appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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Adrift in A Sea of Grief
I am adrift in an endless sea of grief. As I float along, the world continues to go on around me as if I am walking among the bustling crowds–but my feet haven't touched dry land since September 30, 2009. It was on that day–the day my 4-year-old daughter drowned–I was unwillingly thrust into this watery journey.
The post Adrift in A Sea of Grief appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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Finding time to grieve
For a parent who lost a child many years or decades ago, it can be challenging to find ways to express and release the constant grief that is buried below the surface of our daily activities.
The post Finding time to grieve appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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The Fading Tapestry of a Life Once Lived
The brightly colored threads which had weaved together to form the story of your life have significantly faded and worn with every passing year. What does that mean for the loved ones left behind?
The post The Fading Tapestry of a Life Once Lived appeared first on Alive in Memory.
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